"Life, so beautiful, rare, and tragic. Each moment shining and singing. The high sweet songs of the mountains and wind. And, dark low tones of slow moving stones."
These words give me comfort.
I received roses in February from Wayne. I was excited about his retirement on his birthday in March. He called 2 days after his birthday asking for a divorce. All of our dreams (or maybe only my dreams) sank about as low as they could go. Those words made my feet feel like they were stuck in ankle deep mud. I couldn't run, I couldn't move; it just felt like I was being swallowed up.
"The dark low tones of slow moving stones."
He chose his path at my expense, maybe, at his own expense, too. I don't know. But, I respect that he feels he knows what is right for him. It would have been nice to have been included in his decision. But, I guess that was not possible. It has been obvious for well over a year he has been struggling, but he just could not be honest.
A relationship without honesty is just deceit and hurt. I accept his decision. I am saddened about his choice. I worked so hard to make our home the perfect retirement place for the both of us. I looked forward to cuddling on the couch, hand held walks, and so much more. Now it is just me.
I am a "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" type of lady. But, honestly, I am pretty fed up with people of late. I'm tired of gossip. I'm tired of people not being open and honest. It sucks. It hurts. What I dislike the most, are people who pretend to be supportive and are actually saying/doing something else behind your back.
I'm sure there will be some stressful moments ahead for me. But, I have my home and dogs. I find extreme comfort in nature. Nature is all around me. I try not to miss a thing.
"Each moment shining and singing."
So, don't cry for me Argentina. I see more hiking, photography and maybe a couple of road trips ahead. Plus, I am lucky to have so many wonderful neighbors and friends. I don't need to be part of the 'in-crowd.' I'm perfectly happy being just me. I love where I live. I love the life I have made for myself.
"The high sweet songs of the mountains and the wind."
"Life, is so beautiful, rare, and tragic."