a blog about Kilt and her kids plus Trouble our JRT mascot.

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Sequim, Washington, United States

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Thank-you

Thank-you to everyone for making my trip such a wonderful adventure: to my Oregon friends and son, to my Northern California friends, and to my Northern Nevada friends, it all was perfect.  And, it was nice to see so many of my So Cal friends at the Northern Nevada Sheepdog trial.

My van ran without a hitch (Yea), and my dogs traveled well. I saw some beautiful sights and shared many good times.  It was the perfect trip to take my mind off of the upcoming divorce.

I came home a few days early because I knew there would be a Chamber of Commerce luncheon and a free clinic dinner at the marina a couple of days apart that I didn't want to miss.

Cinco de Mayo is "D" day (first court hearing).  Normally, I would be giving my annual Kentucky Derby party the first Saturday in May, but I will have to postpone it until next year.  I'm not too sure what happens at the first court hearing.  I know Wayne and I don't have to show up.  It's all being handled by the attorney's and the judge.  My attorney said attending is kind of like having a root canal to some people.  I guess I can't speak.  I just have to listen.  I've had quite a few root canals, so I will be going. How would I know what questions to ask, if I don't listen to what is being discussed?

I want this whole divorce thing behind me.  I still feel badly about my husband.  Forgive him Lord, for he knows not what he is doing or has done.  Addiction is a killer.  I guess it's kind of like a death; it's going to take time, to feel less pain.

Thank goodness the Elk came back upon my homecoming from my trip.  The animals give me such a sense of peace and hope. My neighbors' warm welcomes made me feel blessed that I live here.  Coming home to a home cooked meal from one of my neighbors made me feel loved.  Several female elk are scouting the pond and stream below to give birth.  I'm watching closely.

I'm looking forward to the Vashon Island Sheepdog trial even though Champ is on the wait list.  I have two girlfriends flying in from California and Pennsylvania.  The one from Pa. is flying in with Champ's sister, Fly.  She is entered in Vashon.  I found us a B and B on the island for a few days so we could enjoy the evenings together.

It's always nice to have something to LOOK FORWARD to, isn't it?  I think it keeps me going.  When I don't have something to look forward to, I'm kind of blah.  I don't feel as energetic.

Anyway, y'all take time to enjoy what is around you.  Accept others as they are; forgive and remember, you're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think....






                                                                    SOAR ON



Saturday, April 15, 2017

Sweet dreams

It is hard waking up night after night thinking about my husband who I loved so much. It's important when the chips are down, to be good to yourself. I do have common sense. Yes, I should have left Wayne years ago, but I honored our wedding vows and loved him to a fault.

Don't get me wrong. I'm still pissed that he couldn't be truthful face to face. I'm surprised he didn't text me asking for a divorce.  He never did say he was seeing someone else, but I knew in my heart the truth. All the signals were loud and clear.

So the therapist is looking to see why I hung in there so long. My first marriage ended in divorce after 9 years. I was too immature. It was my fault. I honestly didn't even think I would have to work for a living. I never saw my mother work a day in her life. Kind of funny when I think about it now. I got married at 19 and finished my BA. I dabbled in art selling paintings, but no real income.

All water under the bridge now. No reason for me to continue treading water. I need to SWIM. And, swim I will. I have always been a good swimmer. I just didn't know it. I have always been a strong woman. I just didn't know it. I need to believe in myself.

Coming to the PNW has been the most healing thing I have ever done for myself. I have the most awesome nature surrounding me like a cocoon wrapping me in its' arms.  My new friends are supportive and caring. I have opened my arms to new experiences. 

Last night a friend, a Master crystal bowl player, and recording artist/ singer invited me to a concert that she gave at the old Dungeness School House. The acoustics in the school house are amazing. Some say it is haunted. 
There was just a handful of people there. Sophia encouraged me to lie down on the Persian rug in front of the 15 bowls and chimes, bells, etc etc that were set up. It was awesome. I drifted in and out of a blissful sleep listening to the beautiful sounds of the bowls, chimes, and Sofia's singing. She has the most melodic, haunting voice I have ever heard.

I came home and slept like a baby. I gave myself permission to postpone my trip for a day so not to pressure myself with last minute packing. It's important when the chips are down, to be good to yourself. I slept like a rock last night. It was nice not to wake up thinking about the last decades with a man that had an addiction that would eventually destroy our partnership and dreams.

I am eating well, drinking plenty of water, exercising and managing to stay afloat. The real stress will come during the first week of May, the first court hearing. My attorney said I don't have to come. He likened it to as almost as much fun as having a root canal. But, I can endure pain. I am going.

Until then, I am heading out on a road trip through Oregon, Northern Nevada, and Northern California with my fur friends in our 20 foot RV.  Hopefully, I will have happy things to share and blog about.... 

                                             Until then, Happy Trails 😍





Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Photography

In the last six months I have spent time trying to improve my photography skills.  It started with taking a camera class to learn how to get off of automatic and use manual settings.  I'm still getting to know my camera.  It is a Canon 80D.  I bet I don't know half of what it does yet.

Then, I took four Photoshop classes with the college.  And, with help from Bonnie the photog pro, I have learned how to mask in a different background. If I like the photo, but the background is too busy I can now put any background to the picture I want. Maybe some people learn this easily, but it came really hard for me to learn.  I'm getting better at it.
I'm also starting to take my own background photos and keeping them in a file.

Just like anything else....the more you practice, the better you get.
Another thing I did was buy some decent lenses.  That improved the quality of my photos 10 fold. Goodbye kit lenses (the ones that come with the camera)

Anyway, I can see a big difference in my photos.  These were a few I have taken in the last 4 months. I hope I can just keep on improving as I get to know the functions and settings of my camera better.

Thanks for looking :)


Barred owl at the Raptor center in Sequim 


Red Tail Hawk


Rufous Hummingbird


Kodak bear at the Olympic Game Park



Red Tail Hawk



Canadian Geese flying at the pond


Barred owl


Champ at the beach


Bald Eagle at the pond



Red Tail Hawk


American Widgeon


Morning Dove on my porch


Mrs. Mallard at the pond


Mr. Mallard at the pond


Cotswold sheep




Champ at the pond

Friday, April 7, 2017

Who needs counseling

WHEN you can watch all 3 seasons of Grace and Frankie for the THIRD time?
It's so cathartic.

The only pattern I see in myself is that I like to help people. That included my husband.  Maybe I will find out why I continue to try to help even when I know it is a lost cause.  Even when it is causing me pain.

Not that I have a whole lot of time to figure out what makes me tick, haha. I'm not entirely sure I even care at this point.

Wow, look how smart I will be by the time someone digs a hole in the ground to bury me. Just for the record, I want to be cremated.

And, if you really want to know, I think I felt worse when Jet died than when Wayne asked for a divorce. That tells me I am SANE after all.

So I will keep giving back by volunteering.  I will keep enjoying every day I wake up.

Thanks for listening. Now go have a good day.