When the therapist asked why I stayed with Wayne, I said, "I loved him. I wanted him to be able to enjoy what life he has left."
I would never wish him ill will. I was hurt because he couldn’t be honest and open with me. It was like riding an emotional roller coaster.
I told Wayne that I wished him well with the life he has chosen for himself and whomever else might be in it.
"I’m scared of what’s ahead, but I will be okay."
It is a known fact;
"Toxic people have a way of choosing open, kind people with beautiful hearts because these are the ones who will be more likely to fight for the relationship and less likely to abandon."
"Non-toxic people who stay in a toxic relationship will never stop trying to make the relationship better, and toxic people know this. They count on it. Non-toxic people will strive to make the relationship work and when they do, the toxic person has exactly what he or she wants – control."
I was blessed. My father left me an inheritance. It was enough to buy my home here in Washington. I might have left Wayne sooner if I had felt secure enough financially. This makes me think about all of the women who are in toxic relationships that feel they can't leave, that feel they have no where to go. I think about this all of the time.
The real "brave" women are the ones with little to no assets that break away from toxic relationships. Look at these women in shelters and those with children at their side. That is brave and impressive.
I think my next volunteer work will be with these women. I'm an alternate with the Chamber of Commerce, and a nurse manager with the free Wellness Clinic. I'm sure I have enough time to give back, give encouragement, and whatever else I can do to help women who have left toxic relationships in order to move on in a more positive direction.
It's my way of giving back.