a blog about Kilt and her kids plus Trouble our JRT mascot.

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Sequim, Washington, United States

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

A few tears....

Yoko with her sire, Jet

I cried.  When I came home this evening Jet didn't meet me at the front door.  I went upstairs where he laid upon our bed.  I greeted him and he gave me a slow wag and did his default trick....a small wave of his paw over his nose.  I laughed.  He smiled.  Trouble laid next to him looking at me with pleading eyes.  They know, too.

It is almost midnight.  I woke to his labored breathing by our bedside.  Our days are numbered.  Tears are streaming down my face.  Not many people will ever know what Jet has meant to me......the journeys we have traveled together.  From Animal Planet, to David Letterman, from being lost for several days in a raging forest fire, to master agility dog, to being a great open sheep dog. To being the best friend a lady has ever had.  He accompanied me to radiation and was by my side during continuous chemo.  We have won every trick contest there is and amused many a crowd and youngster.  He has performed on stage at the hospital where I work,  I can go on and on.  But, the main thing is since this dog was 6 weeks of age he has never taken his eyes off of me.  Not many will ever get to know the feeling, feel the closeness, or understand our connection.

Yoko knows.  Yoko is Jet's daughter.  She always has slept in the spare bedroom.  She is now sleeping in our master bedroom.  She is watching after her father.  She talks to me every night before I turn the light out.  She checks on Jet throughout the night.  I spoke again with my Veterinarian.  His UA was fine....few RBCs, but that is it.  We have no idea if the kidney tumor is involved in his adrenal gland.  All we know is that we will try to keep him home with us and comfortable.  

Surely some of the tears running down my cheeks in the middle of this night are tears of selfishness.  I just can't even imagine my life without Jet.  I will do my best to stay strong.

Tomorrow.....if he is up for it, I will let him do his beloved weave poles one more time.  Hell, I'll bury those damn poles with him.  Dear dog God above.  Please don't let him suffer.

As I watch him from out the window with my morning cup of coffee,  he is trotting the yard with his little buddy Trouble while Kilt keeps a 'keen-eye' on him.  He's not ready to throw in the towel yet.  Me, neither.

Well known for carrying his lunch bag everywhere with him :0)


Jenny Glen said...

Hang in there.

DeltaBluez Tess said...

I know the feeling, please give Jet a hug from us.....sending healing thoughts your directions

Karen said...

I'm sitting here at Oliver, at the public computers in the library, with tears running down my cheeks. I'm really hoping that the french canadian fruit pickers sitting next to me aren't noticing. (((Hugs))) to you.

Anonymous said...

I'm very sorry. I've never met you but read your blog frequently and he's a pretty special dog. I have my own special Jet and can't imagine life without him.

Anonymous said...

Dear Suzanne,
We are sending good thoughts and prayers. We love you, Suzanne.
Aunt Jeanette and Your Cousins,
Betsy, Bobbi, David, Diane, marie, Bonnie, Bill

Anonymous said...

I am so very sorry, our thoughts are with you and Jet.

gvmama said...

We are going to keep him home and LOVE on him every day until the end.