I think that's an honest question. I'm a competitor...no doubt about that. I have been since I was 7 yrs. old. But, is it all that important to me right now? Not really. What? Have I lost my competitive edge? Have I lost the killer instinct? Good possibility. :0)
Should I stop trialing because of that? I don't think so. I enjoy working with my dogs. Do I expect a lot of them...sure. Do I expect a lot of myself...sure. Does it consume my life? No.
I think my cancer (which I don't mention often) has influenced me. Family is numero uno. My nursing career (teaching and taking care of other people) is right up there. My animals are intertwined making my life complete. The unconditional love they give me can't be surpassed.
I screw up, they screw up....I can't be angry with myself or them. I'm elated when we do well.
I enjoy the "social" aspect of the sport. I have always been involved in competition. Animals play a wonderful part in my life.