Seventy, who's counting.....I am!

Oh My Gosh, I'm having a birthday January 19th.  I am turning 70.  Pretty darn special if you ask me (even special if you didn't ask me) I have been in remission from cancer for over 10 years.

Today I was practicing 'gratitude' by reading through my cancer journal.  Yes, the BIG "C" diary.  That would be in the butt, Bob.  I had T 2-3 anal cancer which had spread into the lymph system.
Scary?  You are darn tooting. (No play on words there...hahahaha)

I kept every card, photo, email, letter, etc. from friends, family, co-workers, and acquaintances. All were an inspiration to help me get through surgery, chemo, and radiation.  And, the days following treatment.  Plus, I can't forget my dogs.  They were a large part of my healing and wanting to survive.

Huge thanks to Jeanne Boudrieau (nurse extroidinaire) who actually flew from Seattle to LA to go to my oncologist's initial visit.  When you have been diagnosed with cancer, you don't hear much that the doctor is saying.  It becomes all 'white noise' because you are thinking about dying, not living.

My co-workers and Doctors that I worked with were unbelievably supportive.  I received cards, gifts, and words of inspiration.  My co-workers even gave up vacation time, so I would have additional money for the traveling expenses and so forth.  I have never forgotten, nor will I ever forget.

Jeanne was there as an anchor and so was my lifetime spiritual girlfriend, Carolyn, from New York. I received emails and calls almost daily from those ladies. And,  My son, Dustin, flew from Washington to LA to help me through the last of radiation.  My granddaughter helped me through  Chemo.

My brother was my shining light.  He has the gift of gab along with a sentimentality few ever possess.  His sense of humor is surpassed by none.  He told me he would be standing spiritually by my side through every treatment.  He sent me a photo of my Collie (the lassie type) lying under a beautiful 3 trunked Oak tree with the words, "I've enclosed a place for you to visit, when you need a place to rest." I carry that resting spot in my heart, to this day.

So that was my journey, the reader's digest version.  I am thankful to be in a good spot today.  No, I'm still not officially divorced.  Why you ask?  It's been several years.  Truly, I don't know. It's okay, thus far, we are over a 1000 miles apart, which is a good thing.

Ken and his dogs came into my life just when I was searching for some KARMA.  Funny, how that worked out.  Even our dogs love each other.  With 6 you get Eggroll (6 dogs) or just a lot of MUD in the house.  Unconditional LOVE times SIX!!!!  It's wonderful to have a partner to SHARE mutual interests.  Ken keeps his home (RV) at the marina when he is not on the back side of Happy Valley with me.

If there is a message in this note, it's the never ending message of GRATITUDE.  When you arise in the morning (especially after that first cup of coffee) give gratitude for the life you have had in the past, your life today, and the life in front of you.

I have always said, "I did the best I could do at the time and when I knew better I did better."
Maya Angelou

Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly.  Leave the rest to the great spirit.

I wish you enough......

Trouble

Trouble will be missed.  An aggressive oral cancer was the culprit.  Just shy of 16 years of age, Trouble was the best JRT I could have asked for.  Wayne called her the great "co-ercer."  She always got what she wanted.  She one up'ed the Border Collies all of the time.  She was a Master agility dog in USDAA.  She was an exceptional trick dog.  Jet (BC) and Xena (Lab) were her buddies.
I buried her with Jet on my property.  I miss her :(
The Border Collies keep forgetting to tell me it's time for their nightly whip cream.  Trouble would never let that happen! She would start pacing around the living room at 7:30 PM and then stand in the kitchen at 8 PM waiting.  A wonderful Vet came to the house to help her over the rainbow bridge.  Trouble was having her whip cream as she left this world.  I told Trouble to wait for me with Xena and Jet when I take my last breath.  I know they will.....

The Gathering

The gathering of friends and family

(Cows may come and cows may go, but the Bull Shit here never stops)

The funny thing is all of our tall tales are the truth.  It's a wonder that we all aren't in jail or dead.

Oh what fun it was to get together.

Dogs Welcome, People Tolerated.

It's hard to believe it is already February!  Lots of wet and grey days these last 3-4 weeks.  I'm looking forward to seeing some sun.  Good thing that the temps have been moderate in the 40s.

Ken and I have been playing lots of board games and cards to get us through the ugly weather.  We took a wet day trip to Neah Bay the other day.  We came across an elk herd passing in front of my RV.  A guardian dog was chasing them hahaha (Made for good pics)

Ken hadn't been to the Olympic Game Farm, so he was up for a trip to one of my most favorite places that is minutes from my house.  In fact, he liked it so much he wanted to drive through it AGAIN.  Oh, lucky me!

Yoko looks good after almost 9 months of rest for her back.  Champ is resting from a shoulder injury. I may take him over to Seattle to an Ortho Vet since he does have health insurance.

But, right now, most importantly is that Trouble has been diagnosed with oral cancer.  She will be 16 in May.  Her tumor has doubled in size in a couple of weeks.  It's an aggressive cancer which does not respond well to treatment.  So, I will try to keep her as comfortable as possible until it is her time.  I intend to bury her in Jet's grave with him.  They were pals.

Trouble with 16 yr. old Simon.  She gets lots of love from us and from our dogs.  I always felt she would outlive me :0(  Damn cancer.

Valentine's Day last year I received a dozen red roses from Wayne.  Then, 3 weeks later he asked for a divorce.  It's hard to erase that from my memory. Ugh.

No court date has been set as of yet.  So, I still have all of that CRAP coming up.  I'd sure like it to be all over.   

But, thankfully for me, Ken is in my life now.  We laugh and laugh and laugh.  Plus, he tells me I am amazing and beautiful every day.  The good Lord looked down on me when we we found each other.

It's like 'dog central' around here, hahaha.  But, it's a happy home.

I feel very blessed.

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you.  Open your heart and do something nice for someone :0)

Happy Birthday to me

Let love flow and someone will catch it.  That's exactly what I did and that's exactly what happened.

My heart was broken.  I wasn't sure if I could trust again yet give my heart to another person.

Karma is a funny thing.  I have met a man who loves me as much as I love him.  We wish we had met each other 40 years ago.  We are happy that we met each other now.  We will live in the present. 

Ken is my soulmate.  I have no doubts.  We cuddle, we snuggle, we dance, we shed tears, and we laugh until it hurts.  We have seen each other at our worst and our love continues to grow stronger with each passing day.

We share.  We share our sorrows, we share our dogs, we share our love for nature and photography.  I have a lover that is my very best friend.

We talk.  We talk from our hearts.  This has been something missing from my life for so many years.  We talk openly and honestly, about past relationships and about the present, and the future.  We know we are growing older and our bodies will fail us at times.  It's all part of life.

We are there for each other.  We cuddle and kiss listening to music for hours. We dance cheek to cheek. He is so sensitive to my needs.  He is so nurturing.  He is so loving.  He is so attentive. 

What is really crazy is that we are like two peas in a pod.  We both are very active.  Ken has been a windsurfer and downhill skier for many years.  He does agility with his dogs.  He is a photographer.

He used to raise horses. He has his Masters in Business Administration and I have my Masters in Nursing.  He has 2 Border Collies and an old Italian Greyhound.  I have 3 Border Collies and an old JRT.  We like many of the same foods, movies, games, etc.

The only real difference is that he is Canadian.  He was born in Alberta. I was born in New York.

I don't think either of us want to marry again.  I'm not sure I even believe in marriage anymore after living with a man who hurt me over and over again while I gave him everything I had. But, most definitely after my divorce I will make a living trust.  Love doesn't need a marriage contract.

All I know is that I thank God for bringing us together.  I asked the universe for a companion to come into my life.  My request was answered. A tall, humble, compassionate man entered my life.  Now I find myself blessed and blissfully happy.  I know my parents are smiling down on me from Heaven.  I'm a Capricorn; things always come late to me in life.  I'm just glad I have lived long enough to be able to feel what love is really like.
Happy Birthday to me!