This will be the first Christmas in many years that I will be home, well....sort of. I actually work Christmas eve and Christmas day at the hospital. This is something I love to do. Normally, we would go to Jalama beach and spend the holidays with the dogs at the beach. Even if I worked the holidays I would catch up with my husband at the beach after Christmas. I kind of like being home this year. I think I will decorate the house this week for the holidays. Maybe, I will be able to get Wayne to cook a turkey. :0)
With all of the black Friday shopping crud on line, on TV, and in your face, I got to thinking. I really don't care about any of that anymore. I have never shopped on black Friday. And, I do very little Christmas shopping. Once in awhile if a gift stands out and shouts that particular person's name, I will buy it. We don't have presents under the tree anymore (unless our grandson is here for Christmas). The kids (son and grandson) are all grown. I send them money. :0) Once in awhile, I write them a poem or send them a trinket or photos from their past.
Cancer changed my thinking. I enjoy each and every day like it is Christmas. I was a pretty happy, active person before that diagnosis, but it made me even ENJOY the little things even more so after the diagnosis. It made me realize how special all of my friends and family are to me. It made me look at my own self goals. Quite frankly, I believe I have fulfilled all of them. How about that for a HUGE statement. I have no regrets. I really have no more goals other than to enjoy life, continue working at a job I love, and staying in contact with my family.
Oh sure, I'd like a kennel filled with working Border Collies, a 20 acre farm, a new truck, etc. But, honestly, I don't think that's my partner's goals. This is the time to look at other people's needs, not just what I want. I can be happy anywhere. Hey, if I can drive 1200 miles one way to a trial by myself and sleep in my truck, I really require very little. :0) I don't need presents anymore. I'd like to start dabbling in the arts more. I enjoy trialing my dogs. They do well, but it is not my goal to compete at the Nationals. I will do trials that I can afford while enjoying the journey of training the dogs up by myself. That's the biggest reward....my partnership with my dogs.
This is the gift I give to my family and friends. This is an excerpt taken from a friend's blog that I love. Thank-you Jorgen.
My name is cancer. Am I interrupting?
Yes, I almost always do.
You must forgive me, but you seem so lost at times as if you do not know what it is you miss so desperately,
Until I knock on your door. Then suddenly life becomes very important.
Every second is valuable, one breath is a heaven, every sunrise is unique, and every petty little thing that used to be so important suddenly means nothing.
As if I had opened a door to your life. Why have you not opened it yourself?
Yes, sometimes I knock a bit too early, I know, yes. But, it ought to be a wake up call for others. And, yes sometimes I pull back voluntarily, and give you a little longer. And, that you will never forget.
Actually, maybe I should sit with all of you for a little while. Just to see what happens. Maybe, I would be doing you a favor?"
The above is my gift to you this holiday season. Enjoy every day that you get up.
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."