a blog about Kilt and her kids plus Trouble our JRT mascot.

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Sequim, Washington, United States

Friday, September 24, 2010

Cancer is a lonely disease

The first time you hear those words...C A N C E R...your life comes to a halt.  And, as a nurse, I know only too well.  I'm coming up on 2 yrs. in remission for anal canal squamous cell carcinoma.  Of course, when I was diagnosed,  it went public on TV with Farrah Fawcett on her death bed.  That gave me a lot of hope, NOT.   I'm a survivor.  Anyone who knows me, knows that.

You have to have a sense of humor to get cancer in your arse.  Come on now.  Thankfully, I work with the most amazing critical care nurses.  I have a ton of support.  The hard part is getting scopes (sigmoidoscopies)every 3 months for the last two years.  And, I'm pretty tired of the biopsies along with the scopes. 

Yesterday I had a colonoscopy with more biopsies.  Thankfully, my good RN friend (a younger Green Valley-ite) who is bless her heart retired (what is that?) took me for the procedure.  And, also, gratefully, the Doc is a colleague of mine whom I like very much.  They tease and joke with me knowing all along how scared I really am deep inside.  I have already been through chemo and radiation.  If the cancer comes back, I'm out of luck.  More radiation and chemo won't help.  But, on the bright side this cancer sometimes doesn't come back.  I understand what people feel when they are diagnosed with cancer.  It has made me an even more empathetic and compassionate nurse.  I tell everyone, "It's a good day if you get up."  I truly mean that.

On a lighter note, my staff ask me daily what Buddha has to say?  Everyday I check my i-phone for my Buddha update.  It's kind of a fun stress relieving note that we all look forward to.  And, when things get really stressful in the unit, we chant.  I have taught them all how to chant....Ohmmmmmmmmmm.  Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.
Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is referred to as the 'Law of life'. Although it is just six syllables, each signifies profound truths that go to the heart of the universe, the issue of life and death, and the law of cause and effect.

I learned to chant in my World Religions class in college.  It works wonders in relaxing the moment.  There, I bet that's something about me you didn't know!
Peace :0)                            


Have a lazy, sunny day filled with good dreams.

4 comments:

Karen said...

OMG, I don't know what else to say.
I just hope it all goes well for you.
My mother had colon cancer, and I remember her saying that the sigmoidoscopy was worse than the colonoscopy.
My colonscopy was a breeze, well other than than the embarrassment of the anesthesiologist being my next door neighbour:(

Positive thoughts flying your way, and some rain too if I can manage it:)

DeltaBluez Tess said...

You are one of my favorite people in the whole wide world...you inspire me!

When I was in such much pain from my open heart surgery, you took time to make me feel better.

You are an Angel

We love you from up here

gvmama said...

Thank-you Diane. That is so kind of you. I know how much our dogs and our health mean to both of us
:0) make that...ALL of us.

gvmama said...

To Karen....I'm pretty oblivious to pain. I have a HIGH threshold. The preps are the killer...not the procedures. Thanks for the positive thoughts. I can always use those!