Pop

Pop is heavily medicated. I have shed a few tears. I have been at his side for the last 5 hours. And I think he had a glimmer of recognition. My brother, his wife, Linda and I sat down with the weekend Hospice physician doing rounds. I posed many questions and different scenarios. It was important to me that Jim and Linda as Dad's primary care givers understand what hospice has to offer and what they can't do.
It's hard to tell if Dad is in the dying process or if that he is just heavily medicated. He has an indwelling catheter in place. I asked that a urine culture be done. His routine medications were stopped a week ago. It is just too hard to get them down him anymore. I asked that his pain and anxiety medications be made PRN (on an as needed basis). Because, quite frankly I don't know if he is ever going to wake up. I would so like to have a last bit of a coversation with him AND know for sure that he knows I am here. Gosh, this is tough.
I did sign a form to turn off his internal difibrillator. His pacer will continue, but there is no need to be shocking Pop at this point if he has any arrhymias.
I'm not sure if Pop will get to return to home. At this moment of this writing, it would only make a difference to us, his family. He would not know. :0(
It's a combination of old age, skin cancer, and a failing heart. I know it is his time. But, it doesn't make it any easier. When he passes we will have lost an officer, a gentleman , and the world's greatest husband and father.